There is a part of my brain that is used to things not working out.
I almost said that my brain does it, but really, it’s just a part of my brain. Other parts of my brain are dedicated to things like breathing, staying upright and obscure song lyrics. Still another part is bravely facing a blank page by writing this. So no, it’s just a part of my brain, not the whole thing.
But that part keeps wanting me to settle, to think smaller, to somehow figure out how to do the absolute bare minimum and take the least amount of risk possible. She would rather I just play it safe and not bother anyone.
Sadly, she’s not going to get her way; I’m taking her along with me to a grand new adventure.
I noticed this part, let’s call her Sally, yesterday. We’ve come up with a grand plan to move to my 97 year old mom’s property in order to help her. The intention is to improve the property in order to sell it at a profit when she no longer needs it. There is currently zero chance for any profit of any kind, so we have our work cut out for us.
Sally kept trying to find a way for us to just move into the house with mom and not worry about anything else. Failing that, she gave me scenarios that were easier but less risky. I started down that rabbit hole for a moment, beginning to think that the project is too big already and I shouldn’t even have such grand designs.
Another part of my brain popped in and asked “why are you settling so early? You have a dream to explore!”
I like that voice better…Sally is just going to have to be quiet while I find my path forward.
Last night I couldn’t sleep. I have a feeling this may be a thing for a while, my brain seems to be obsessed with this project and quite often spins off into oblivion. It all just FEELS so right and yet there are thousands of details to work out.
Honestly, Sally isn’t the only part up there wrecking havoc, there’s several parts obsessed with finding the right home design, a couple that are considering packing and downsizing, still a couple more considering the relationships of all the people involved and how to make things go smoothly, another that is worried about finances. It can be maddening.
So when I woke up at 1 am, I played a meditation that reminded me of my magic and my imagination. Sleep never did come to me after that, but at least my mind was calm. This morning I did my normal meditation and asked Archangel Gabriel to help me with my vision for manifesting the dream. It came to me to consider a rainwater capturing system. I’d like to think it came from Gabriel, (I have a new vision of an angel in a hard hat).
Can we do it? Can we create a beautiful oasis in the desert? Can we make mom’s final years fun and easy? Can we all live together in such close proximity?
Sally has her doubts…
But me? All of me?
I think we’ve been led here.
I know we’re ready.
I have hope.
And I’ve got an Archangel in a hard hat…
I think we’ll be fine.