Untethered and Connected
This morning as I wrote in my journal, the thought came to me that the spiritual journey is one of detaching or “untethering” from the cares and concerns of life in the modern world and connecting on a deeper level to one’s soul…that in fact, we are all connected.
Of course…the very human thought of “I’m really fucking sick of poverty” came to me…and how, I’ve pushed and pulled and tried to force this situation to just go away already. How tired I am of having small measures of success…yet still struggling to get the bills paid, put food on the table and how sick I am of having to calculate my spending before I go the the grocery store.
I recognized that I truly did need to “untether” from this situation, that, in fact, the very thought of how sick I am of it was keeping it bound to me. I also recognized that as I connected to the deeper spiritual meaning of this, there could be no ulterior motive. I had to just let go.
I was given a vision of a life preserver..of clinging for dear life to it while the shore was in view…yet being so afraid of the swim to shore, I would not let go.
I focused back on my breath as the vision faded.
It came to me that I must cut the cord…the connection…I have to poverty and so breathing again, I made the motion of gently pulling out the attachment and sending it away from me.
A vision of a waif like, gray little girl in rags named “Poverty” came to me. We stared at each other.
The question came to me…”what has she taught you?”.
I felt the tears come to my eyes…it seemed odd…but they came unbidden as I realized…she’s taught me a lot and I’ve never thanked her for it.
She’s taught me faith.
She’s taught me resilience.
She’s taught me resourcefulness.
As I gazed at this child…the tears came faster. I felt compassion for her because she is so misunderstood. She’d been my companion for so long and I never thanked her for the blessings and the lessons that she brought.
I suddenly realized, in some strange way, I would miss her…
I had embraced her…and cursed her…for so long…
Even now, I feel sadness for misjudging her
And I let her go as I asked her for her forgiveness
I am untethered…and connected to the deeper meaning…to the deeper lessons.
Thank you Poverty for the lessons that you brought. Thank you for teaching me the true meaning of faith.