This morning, as is my usual habit, I made my first pot of coffee while my inner critic, The Professor, bitched at me about the things I didn’t accomplish this weekend.
I don’t know why that happens. After all, I’m one of those positive thinkers, I teach the stuff , and yet, the habits of a lifetime still pop up for healing. It’s a mistake to think it ever stops. There is always more healing to be done. I’ve come to accept this.
So, I stopped her, it’s easy enough to do, I just gave my brain a “that’s not true” signal and the inner criticism stopped.
I went on about my morning routine without disturbance, apparently there’s not much to criticize if I don’t buy into it.
Eventually I got to my journal and began to process my thoughts. I thought about my inner critic and how frozen I can become when she gets going. This morning her theme was “you didn’t do enough” this weekend; its a common theme. If I’m not paying attention, I can completely freeze up with this thought.
My brain was stuck on this chorus because I didn’t create any social media posts. There are parts of me that are worried because maybe I’m self-sabotaging again. There are other parts that are worried that perhaps I am hiding…again.
And while I didn’t work on my social media, I DID work on my website and reviewed blogs and material I’ll be adding to it. I did work…just not the work I had planned. My inner critic also failed to mention that I worked while not feeling well. I was sick this weekend and “rested” but still managed to get things done.
Yet my brain was stuck on the one thing I didn’t do.
This sends my inner critic system into overdrive. Any thoughts that are based upon lack and fear produce MORE thoughts of lack and fear.
They’re like dust-bunnies…”What if it’s not good enough?” “Why can’t I get it all done?” “Why am I so lazy??”
We are our own worst enemy and honestly, we can be really unfair. We find one thing that we decide is undesirable and we pounce on it…
And the truth is…
You can either judge yourself and stay stuck or you can love yourself and move forward.
We get caught up in it don’t we? Even me…everyone I would imagine, gets on a roll with their inner critic and it will absolutely keep you stuck until you decide to dispute your own opinion.
Yes it’s you. It’s YOUR inner critic. That doesn’t mean she’s right. He or she (we have masculine parts too) is simply repeating what you’ve heard from others over and over again. She is feeding on your “not enoughness” and she can become really really engorged with it if you let her.
But…LOVE…just turn love on yourself and especially love on your inner critic and you will see a transformation. Loving yourself gives you access to boundless possibilities.
Even if your inner critic thinks you are unworthy of love, love yourself anyway. You are doing the best you can under the circumstances. Give yourself the break that you so freely give to others, give yourself the love that you so freely give.
Honor all of your brokenness and faults…they don’t make you “less than” anyone else, because everyone has them.
They simply make you human…
And loving them makes you a better human 🙂
