I was on my morning commute, returning from dropping my boys off at school, when I realized that my head was clear and I was at peace.

Now…for those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept…here is a list of thoughts that ramble around in my head when it is “clear”

  • “C’mon and lead me on, tease me all night long, loving you I know is right, don’t ever….da da…I really need you, ‘cmon and lead me on, tease me all night long,”
  •  I need to call Mom
  • Oh yeah, I need to get that paperwork done…
  • (out loud I say) I gotta brush my teeth
  • (back in my head, giggling)…all these thoughts and that’s what I say out loud?
  • Maybe I should blog about….c’mon truck, move your ass, I gotta get over
  • I’m gonna have a truck again one day, I love trucks
  • Oh! My new Kindle Fire is gonna be here today…yay!

I know, it’s fascinating…especially that Maxine Nightingale song from 19…seventy something, (that I can’t seem to get out of my head). But that’s not my point. My point is that the thoughts that are absent on a clear day.

Thoughts like

  • so and so is an asshole
  • I can’t believe he did that, I’m so pissed
  • God, I’m pathetic, I shouldn’t be pissed off at people…
  • what the hell was I thinking?
  • It’s my own damn fault for getting myself into this
  • I hate my life, I can’t stand this anymore

I remember talking to a group of women once and I asked each of them to tell me what they loved about themselves. Each of them was hard pressed to do so. I offered them an “out”, I told them that if they couldn’t think of something, they could tell me what others loved about them, but then they had to own it.

When it was my turn, I listed off a few things and I said, that I really love myself…even the quirky, funky, not so good parts. They all looked at me as though I was a bit crazy and told me how lucky I was.

Luck, my dears, had nothing to do with it.

It was, and, at times continues to be, hard work.

But…the good news is that the hard work pays off…and you get to have a clear day and then soon you have more and more clear days. And before ya know it, you can breathe and you can know that whatever calamity comes your way, can be managed. You find peace.

It’s not a pipe dream…it’s doable. And I guess what I want you to know today, dear friend is that you don’t have to beat yourself up. And that perhaps, you might consider that the negative thoughts that pop into your head are lies…and are worthy of your scrutiny. Don’t accept them…don’t listen to them.

Leave some room in your head for silly love songs from the 70’s…it’s a much better use of space.

Journal Questions:

So…it’s your turn!

Go on…grab your journal and tell me what you LOVE LOVE LOVE about yourself!!

I dare you to write down 10 things.

I DOUBLE DARE YOU  to share your list of things you love about yourself with someone.

Go ahead…say it OUT LOUD!

Now, I’ll give you the out if I must…

If you can’t think of what you love about yourself, what do people say they like about  you?

You don’t know? Ohhhh well then you know what I’m going to say, right? Ask.

I know it’s hard and even frowned upon to toot your own horn, or to say words that are loving and affectionate to yourself. We’re trained not to! It’s not lady like to brag, it’s impolite, it’s…vain!

Somehow that got turned around to “it’s wrong” and I will tell you that it is not!

It’s weird…sure, I’ll give you that, but it is also NEEDED!

We all need to hear nice words. You say nice words to your friends. Today, I want you to be your friend and tell your Self what you appreciate about you. And then, see if you can find a friend, or a battle buddy to share your list with. Maybe you can even encourage your friend to do the same!

Try This:

As always, your goal is awareness! Next time you are in the car, see if you can keep track of the thoughts running through your head. Don’t do anything, just pay attention. 

Next…keep a notebook handy and write down the things your hear inside your head. Set a goal to work with the notebook for about a week. Write down…you guessed it…whatever pops into your head!

If there is a thought that comes through often, write it down again, or just keep a tally, whichever is easier.

As you get comfortable noticing your thoughts, begin to observe things like the time of day, or your mood, or the situation.  Is the voice that you hear your own? Your mother’s? Your Spouses??

At the end of the week, look at your list and look for a pattern, combine that with your observations of the time and circumstances when you had them and you’ll begin to see how you can SHIFT or eliminate the thought completely! 

Try This:

I love surprises!

So, I’ve learned to surprise myself with love notes and positive thoughts.

What is it??

Surprising yourself with love notes and positive thoughts is a great way to allow Spirit and you to work together! You simply hide notes all around your house for you to find later!

What you’ll need

  • Pens and markers
  • Note cards and paper
  • A bit of time and cleverness
  • An old daily calendar with positive phrases

 When to do it

Pick a day, maybe once a quarter or once a month

 What to do

 Get note cards, or just pieces of paper and write down positive thoughts or little love notes to yourself…remember that list of things you love about yourself? Try that…send yourself a note that says “I love how kind I am to people” or “I love the way I make friends so easily, that’s a really cool thing!”

Or, get one of those old perpetual calendars that your friends always give you for Christmas that you ‘ve thrown in a drawer. I have one that has 365 days of Wayne Dyer quotes…and I’m pretty sure I have another one in the wings after that!

Now, take your notes, fold them up and start hiding them around your house. Put them in coat pockets and drawers, maybe in a sock drawer or a jewelry box, put one up on a bulletin board or in a drawer. Find yourself a bunch of little hiding places and put your notes there!

 And then, go on about your business!


Every once in a while…and often just when you need it, you’ll find a note! It’s fun and it gives you a moment of joy…plus you get to do something nice for your favorite person! You!